the rumors are true.

jhook has left the building.



but don't worry little friends, i have just entered a new one.

http://shesmakingwaves.wordpress.com


you need to check it out. all the pages. it is LEGIT!

there is a possiblity...

that i will be moving this blog to a wordpress blog instead. i really like the interface there and i'm going to test it out today and will let you know by tonight/tomorrow if i will be moving to a new blog. =)

MIA

so, i've been MIA on this blog for a few weeks now, and it feels strange. i haven't written because i don't feel inspired TO write lately. this makes me both sad and nervous. sad because maybe my life is super boring and there is nothing to tell. nervous because the calm always comes before the storm. if something big is going to happen in my life anytime in the future, i'm pretty sure that something is coming VERY soon. my life has seemed pretty calm lately with no big events at all...something is coming. should i be scared and run from the something? is it bad and going to turn my life upside down and backwards? is it a great thing that is going to change my life for the better? is it anything at all?

in other news, many things are just around the corner (maybe the storm?). graduation is in june, zimbabwe is in july, fuel is for the summer...mixed into all this is the internship, looking for another job, moving back to bakersfield once i get back from zimbabwe. goodness, maybe God is just giving me a little break (a calming) before the crazy summer eropts (the storm).

well, enough about me, lets talk about you. what have you been up to lately? is your life going through a calm period, or are you in the middle of storm? tell me, won't you?

comment or email (clarabell137@gmail.com)

mirror.

for the first installment of my new blog series, i am going to write about the song mirror by barlowgirl. this song is amazing.

mirror, mirror on the wall, have i got it?
'cause mirror you've always told me who i am
i'm finding it's not easy to be perfect
so sorry you won't define me
sorry you don't own me

who are you to tell me that i'm less than what i should be?
who are you? who are you?
i don't need to listen to the list of things i should do
i won't try, i won't try

mirror i am seeing a new reflection
i'm looking into the eyes of He who made me
and to Him i have beauty beyond compare
i know He defines me

you don't define me, you don't define me

i really like this song for multiple reasons. as much as i hate to admit it, i completely care what other people think of me when it comes to ministry. i have been trying to be a cookie-cutter christian for a long time, trying to do what the church says i should do. not the church like in the bible, but the church as in the man-constructed institution. sometimes when i feel in my heart that i should do something, i feel held back because of what people will think. this song helps me remember that it isn't about what other people think and that i don't need to try to live up to what they say i need to be.

this song is also one that makes me think of the children in zimbabwe. there is a little girl who lives in one of the orphanages that alan and dorothy help who's mother named her no matter. she is just one example of thousands of children who are told from a young age that they don't matter. but alan and dorothy have renamed her precious because that is what she is to God. her mother tried to define her one way, but to God she is beauty beyond compare.

mirror i am seeing a new reflection...

more soul pancake.

list five possible openings for your autobiography.

1. My life has always been complicated. From the time I literally fell down the stairs and teachers thought my parents beat me, to the time I beat myself up for not coming back sooner, and all the times in-between only one word could describe it: complicated.
2. I was the only child until age four, the eldest of two until age seventeen, and come high school graduation I was the middle of five AND the middle of four.
3. My high school drumline instructor told me my sophomore year “Don’t be the one who sucks the worst” and I’ve tried to live by his wise analogies ever since.
4. Someone once told me it doesn’t matter how fast or slow you go in life as long as you stay in your own lane. It took me years to understand what he meant, and by then it might have been too late.
5. I’ve never been great at communicating my inner-most thoughts, so I generally turn to music lyrics/famous quotes to get the point across: “I have these dreams in the back of my mind, but they never pan out unless I wake up and try.” My life is a story of dreams that I took way to long to wake up from.

Let me know what yours would be...please?

another week here and gone.

the weekend that was: long. friday was spent with some best friends eating, laughing, and having fun. first was lunch with sarah and heather, then at the church with the ruffs, the twins, sav, kayloni, and the future browns, and i finished the night with CSI: and pizza with alisha. saturday started with the Easter egg hunt and ended with visiting my dad in the hospital. he's doing better, but much of the weekend was spent visiting with him. oh! and easter sunday with the fam at nan's house. our get-togethers are always fun.

where i am at the moment: in class. ready for june to get here already.

on my to-do list this week: writing more on here. some homework. and HILLSONG UNITED CONCERT on friday. =D

what God is teaching me: that friends are amazing. that he will work things out in the end.

book i’m in the midst of: stand by alex mcfarland (for the connection). the shack by wm. paul young (for myself).

music that seemed to catch my attention this past week: more "punk goes..." music and the newest anberlin cd.

next trip: to los angeles on saturday to visit the cousins.

how i’m feeling about this week: excited!

new idea.

ok. i know it has been a while (based on my standards) since i have updated this thing. i have been really busy this week, and haven't had much time to get on the interwebs for a little blog post. while this isn't going to be a meaty post by any means, i am going to reveal a cool idea that came to light this week in the long hours that i spend laying awake before sleep sets in. i have realized how much i absolutely love music. for those of you who know me fairly well, you are saying "duh!" at this point, but let me continue. i love listening to music and the lyrics and painting a picture of how the thoughts, emotions, and life behind the music fits with me and my life in that very moment. this got me thinking, why don't i share my life in any given moment based on the lyrics of a song that is really touching me. so, for a little while at least, my post will be formatted accordingly. i will pick a "song of the day," if you will, and then explain how the deep parts of my life are related to that song. i won't be posting everyday, but when i do i will post in this way (and of course include a YouTube video or something to show the song as a whole instead of you only experiencing the lyrics of it).

let me know if you like the idea. i plan to start with a song or two this weekend and a full update come monday. =)